Growing up

On Monday morning when I woke up at my parents’ house in Raleigh, I was surprised to walk out of my room and see my dad sitting in his chair when I knew that he was supposed to be at work. I walked up to him and asked him "what are you still doing home?" He quietly responded "oh I had some work to do on the computer." I knew the reason he was still home is because he wasn't used to me leaving and he wanted to see me one last time before I left to come back to school. After he left home, I started packing my things and came across my cleats and my softball glove and at that moment tears started to run down my face and a lot of thoughts rushed into my head. Ever since I was 5 years old, my dad has been my softball coach and my inspiration in life. I spent 95% of every single day with him doing something that was sports related and we both enjoyed every minute of it. I still remember waking up every day and him being so excited about going to the batting cage or the field to practice so that I could improve my skills. He dedicated his whole life to me improving and having fun. I played softball pretty much everyday of every year from February to November because I was so passionate about it and enjoyed spending time with my father. Every time I think about how much time and effort my dad put into making me a good player and a teammate, it makes me cry because I decided to stop playing after 13 years of my life. Now that I am away at college he doesn't know what to do with all of his free time so he coaches my high school softball team even though it will never be the same without me there. Growing up is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with and it's probably even harder for my parents. They still call me everyday to check on me and see how my day went and make sure everything's okay. This coming up softball season will be the first season that I haven't played in 13 years. I think about it everyday, but with me already having 2 knee surgeries, 2 cortisone shots, a stress fracture in my back and buldging disks, I felt as if it were time for me to take care of my body and to give up the game. Everyone kept asking me why I wasn't going to play in college because I loved it so much and my answer was "I'm burnt out." However my response should have been "I need a break" because it's been almost 7 months since I played my last game and I haven't picked up a ball since. The first thing I did today when I got on my computer was look on the 49er website to see if there was any opportunities for me to get back involved in the game.  My father always used to tell me, you never know how much you love something until it's gone for good and I wish that I could go back and just play one last softball game so that I could be with my dad and show him the love and appreciation that he deserves for dedicating all his time and effort into making me not just a better player but a better person. The connection that me and my father had within this sport was so strong that no matter how many times we argued or got frustrated with each other, no one could ever break us apart. I will cherish the moments and time that we spent together for the rest of my life and maybe one day we can do it again. He has so much dedication to the sport that he wants to coach mine and my sisters kids when they are growing up and I would be more than happy to see them experience what he gave me the chance to experience because it was the most important and memorable thing that I will always remember. If I could choose one thing to re-live in my life it would be the relationship that me and my father shared within the sport of softball. Sometimes I wish we wouldn't have had those arguments and just lived it to the fullest because now that it's done I miss it more and more every day. No matter what, softball or not, I will always be my daddy's little girl!